


What is in the past cannot be changed

by notarealwriter



Category: South Park
Genre: Childhood Trauma, I'll add more - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Other, but like its south park, but yeah i'll add many more, porn industry, you should be okay with reading a few f bombs (more like every two words)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:00:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28138812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notarealwriter/pseuds/notarealwriter
Summary: Kenny left South Park a long time ago, running away from his and everyone else's problems. He never intended on coming back, not until he was left alone with his newborn baby.Going back hurt, and the fact that he was still in love with his old friend and boyfriend only made the pain worse.(I swear it won't be that angsty) (maybe just a bit)
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kenny McCormick/Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	1. Like an opossum

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I just remembered I have this account, I always used this site as a guest for some arcane reason. I haven't published a fanfiction in almost five years, and I don't remember if I have ever published one in English. But I'm currently working on a novel that needs a lot of research and not much writing at the moment, so I thought it would be nice to write something completely different from it and just have some fun.  
> If you see any mistakes in grammar please tell me, but only nicely, if you do it with malevolent intentions I will not change it, in fact, I'll highlight it.  
> Enjoy the shitshow.

> **LIKE AN OPOSSUM**

* * *

It shouldn’t be this difficult to knock on your best friend’s door, it should come as a natural, really. Kenny Mccormick was hesitant though, and not only because he was reappearing after three whole years of being away from South Park and never contacting anyone, but also because he was doing so while holding a three months old baby in his arms. It came as no surprise that when Kyle Broflovski opened the door on that cold Wednesday night, the first words that came out of his mouth were -What the fuck is that?-, Kyle was suddenly reminded of that time a much younger Kenny was standing outside of his door, as he was doing at that moment, holding a nasty opossum, claiming to have found a new pet.  
-She’s my daughter,- Kenny pushed back the little wool hat she was wearing -her name is Luna-  
Kyle called for his parents after inviting his friend in, still in deep denial of what was happening. Kenny looked around and felt an oddly reassuring sense of nostalgia as he stared at all the old and new photos framed on the walls. He always had a liking for Kyle’s home, when he was little he would dream of his parents caring enough to actually frame nice pictures of him and his siblings. Little Luna was born not that long ago, but she already had more pictures taken than Kenny in his entire childhood.  
-Oh you poor little thing!-  
-Thanks Sheila, it’s nice seeing you too-  
-I’m not talking about you- Mrs. Broflovski stared angrily at Kenny for a few seconds before requesting to hold Luna in her arms; Kenny obliged.  
-Dude, what the fuck- Kyle was scolded by his mother but didn’t seem to care, he just stood in front of Kenny, eyes wide.  
-It’s a long story, to make it short, I got a girl pregnant, she told me two weeks before Luna was born, then disappeared-  
-Are you even sure it’s yours?-  
-I don’t know, I’m just sure that her mother is most likely going to jail in two days and I don’t know if I have any legal, like, ownership or something, I need help-  
-The fact that you need help is pretty clear to everyone, Kenny. Shit, Kenny, ownership? Really? Do you think she’s a pet or something? You obviously don’t even know whether she’s biologically yours or not, and by God, what kind of life are you living right now? You do realize a child can’t grow up in a house full of drugs and prostitutes, right?-  
Kenny looked down, his cheeks were burning, whether it was for anger or the sudden temperature change, he didn’t know.  
-I know Kyle, believe me when I tell you growing up with crack parents is not fun. But I also know that being in the system is equally as fucked up. Look, I’m here because I need to ask your dad what my options are here, I want to have full custody.-  
-We’ll talk about this later, Gerald is out now. Come in the kitchen Kenny, I’ll make something for you and Luna- Sheila made her way into the kitchen, holding little Luna with one arm.  
-I have some formula in my bag- Kenny said as he followed them. Kyle stood watching in complete disbelief; Kenny was the first one to have a child, he owed a lot of money to Cartman and Craig.

-So her legal name is Luna Karen Mccormick-  
-Right sir-  
-Her mother is going to prison for murder, attempted murder, and drug abuse, right?-  
-And driving while high as a kettle, sir-  
-Well, I mean, maybe full custody is a bit of a far stretch, but we can make do-  
Mr. Broflovski’s studio was unknown territory for Kenny, but he was not surprised when he saw a copious amount of family photographs everywhere. He was holding Luna, gently patting her back waiting for her to burp or puke a little.  
-I gotta tell you kid, looking at you like this makes me feel dizzy-  
-Well I’ve been feeling like fucking weird for a couple of months too. Can I ask you something? I can still meet Luna’s grandmother even if I’m the one getting full custody, right? Like, her mother’s mother-  
-I guess you could-  
-Good, she was the only thing that prevented her good-for-nothing mother to not snort cocaine while pregnant-  
Mr. Broflovski had many questions, but he said nothing as he watched Kenny get out of his studio. “Kenny was the first one to get a kid, uh,” he thought “Shit, I own Randy a lot of money”

Ike was sleeping at a friend’s house, so Sheila let Kenny and Luna in his bedroom, she also proudly presented two boxes to Kenny, all containing old clothes from when Kyle and Ike where little.  
-I know these are all boys’ clothes, but when they were little monkeys I always bought gender-neutral clothes, so I could hand them down to their future little ones-  
Kyle was about to smash his head on the wall, Kenny was sure about that. He took out a few onesies that looked like they could fit Luna’s chubby legs and smiled as he saw one with a bunny on the front.  
-Thanks, Sheila, I only had a few clothes her grandmother bought us-  
-See Kyle, I told you he’d be happy- Sheila proudly left the room, telling Kenny she was going to the supermarket to buy some diapers.  
Kenny and Kyle were alone and Luna was asleep.  
-Kenny, I honestly have no words for you right now-  
-Good, shut the fuck up then, I don’t need you telling me how stupid I am-  
-No Kenny, not stupid. You’re fucking insane. Do you think you can raise a child? You egoistic piece of shit. You didn’t have to balls to stay here, with all of us, with Stan. You disappeared. Don’t think just because you came here with a cute baby it’ll make me forgive you.-  
-How’s Stan?- Kenny lived in regret after he left South Park, but he couldn’t stay. Not after one of his best friends threw himself out of a building. Stan survived, miraculously with just a few broken bones and some scratches, but nothing was the same. Suddenly everything felt heavy around South Park, well, _heavier_. Kenny remembers wishing he could die. At that moment he felt like the best next thing instead of dying would be to change life. He went away, left everything and everyone for a shitty one-room apartment, and giving old man blowjobs to pay rent. It wasn’t a good life at first, but at least he wasn’t in South Park.  
-You have no right to ask me that. Listen, Kenny, I will never forgive you. But Luna is an innocent child, so what I’m going to do is try my best to help her live a somewhat good life. Just, don’t you dare disappear again, okay?-  
-Thanks Kyle,- Kenny kept going through the boxes, putting the best clothes in a pile on the bed -can I ask you something?-  
-As long as it’s nothing weird-  
-How’s Butters?-  
Kyle shrugged -Why don’t you ask him, he’s coming in ten-  
-What? You fucking bitch, you already told everyone!-  
-Relax, I just told Cartman because he can actually help you. He has bought the land near your old house and built some combos there. They’re probably shit, it’s just one of the many investments he has made in the last two years trying to get rich, but I asked him if he already had them all full and he said he can make room for an old bastard friend.-  
Kenny felt sick for actually thinking Cartman was a good option at that moment, but he already broke the contract in his old apartment and it’s not like he can crash at anyone’s place for too long with a baby to take care of.  
-What does Butters have to do with any of this?-  
-He was with Cartman when I called, he heard you were back and got all excited-  
Kenny’s cheeks and ears felt warm, a sudden chill went down his spine as I pictured Butters smiling after seeing him again. But why was he with Cartman, of all people? And how come he was still living in South Park? Kenny was sure he would’ve ran away by now, he was always going on and on about how he couldn’t stand staying another month at his parents’ house. Suddenly, the nice sensation he had after Kyle told him Butters wanted to see him was replaced with a heaviness. Luna started to make some noises, so he got up and laid near her, caressing her head while softly humming a tune.  
-I still can’t believe it- Kyle shook his head, he looked like he was going to say more, but was interrupted by the sound of someone knocking very loudly on the front door. As Kyle went downstairs, Kenny stayed there on the bed, watching Luna’s chest move as she took slow and steady breaths. He had spent the last three years miserable, almost choking every time he was reminded of everything he ran away from. His friends, his family, he abandoned everyone out of his own selfishness. But the very first time he held Luna in his arms, suddenly he knew nothing else in the world mattered more than her. He would often wonder, those first nights alone with her, if his parents felt the same about him and his siblings; if they thought waking up every hour of the night just to console them was worth each and every single little milestone they conquered. The first time Luna was able to hold her head up on her own he almost cried his eyes out. Everything he was doing was for her, he had to remind himself of that.  
-Can I see them?- Kenny heard a familiar voice outside of the bedroom and got up immediately, the door opened but the first person to come in was not who Kenny wished would have been.  
-Holy shit dude, this has to be the most fucked up thing I have had to witness- Eric Cartman was standing on the door frame, dressed in a grey suit.  
-Shut the fuck up, she’s sleeping- Kenny had never missed Cartman, he was almost content with forgetting about him.  
-Oh geez Eric, don’t use that dirty language in front of a baby- and there he was, it was like time had never touched him. His blonde hair was longer making the contrast with his shaved undercut much more noticeable, his gentle blue eyes still shining.  
-Hi Leo-

Cartman was showing off the photos of his building on his phone, promising that it was _“such a great deal, Kenny”_ and _“really, you should be honored to be the first one to rent one of my apartments”_ , but Kenny didn’t care, he couldn’t stop admiring Butters. Leo had his eyes on Luna since the first second he had looked at her, probably not even aware of the fact that he was smiling. Butters was the first person that looked at Luna like that except for Kenny, and that was enough to melt Kenny’s heart.  
-But the rent is quite high so I have an offer. Hey, are you listening Mccormick?-  
-Got it, man, I’m working as a photographer right now, I got some money-  
-Oh my, Kenny, so you don’t feel like sharing with me?- suddenly Kenny’s interest in the conversation peaked.  
-Sharing what now?- Kenny almost shouted, Kyle was laughing and trying to hide it with no luck.  
-Well, I was planning on moving out of my parents’ home, but I can’t afford a full rent. I also don’t like the idea of sharing a room with a stranger-  
-Kenny is a stranger, I don’t know him anymore. It’s been almost three years since I last heard of him- Kyle stood just outside the bedroom, he was saying something mean, but he had a smirk on his face that Kenny knew meant he was just trying to hide something painful.  
-C’mon Kyle! Kenny is no stranger!-  
-No Butters, Kyle is right- Kenny stood up, for a brief moment he looked Butters in the eyes, but turned his gaze away after he noticed just how deep and dark his undereye bags were. -Think this through, I have a baby now- he pointed at Luna -and she’s not always sleeping so deeply. I’m going to be a burden, Leo-  
Butters frowned -Don’t go and put stupid thoughts into my head! If you don’t want me as a roommate then just say so, don’t blame others-  
Kenny was reminded of why he fell deeply in love with Butters. There was something about the way he expressed his emotions, the slight raising of his voice whenever he had to stand up for himself, or how he would close is fists when he felt vulnerable. Kenny could actually pinpoint the exact moment he realized he was in love: it was the summer after their first year of high school, Butters showed up to a party with a black eye and a smile that showed off all of his teeth _“Kenny, it worked! I sneaked out of my bedroom!”_ he shouted. To Kenny that was the first time he saw Butters being free, not chained to his parents, South Park, trauma, or any other bad thing; Leo was free, and it made Kenny feel a sort of pride that made his organs feel like they were on fire.  
-I’m sorry Leo,- Luna made some weird noises, so Kenny went back to her and put his hand on her back -okay, let’s do it. Move-in with me.-  
-God, this feels wrong- Kyle got on his heels and headed downstairs.  
-Fucking shit, my first renters will be two gay dudes and their baby, that won’t look good-  
-Shut the fuck up, you stupid little shit- being with his old friends made Kenny ten years old again.  
-Language! You don’t want Luna to learn these dirty words, will you?-

Sheila came back with two boxes of diapers, complaining about how much the cost of those damn things got way too high. Everyone was in the kitchen now, drinking a cup of something hot, smiling and laughing. Again, Kenny felt as if he was frozen in time, not sure about his age or whereabouts, stuck between being a teenager and hearing his daughter’s cries from the other room. He went to get her followed by Kyle.  
-It’s late Kenny, you can go to sleep if you want. I’ll tell the others -  
-Kyle- he paused -you didn’t tell me if Stan is okay or not-  
-I won’t ask you about Butters and you won’t ask me about Stan, got it?-  
Kenny nodded.  
-Stan is happy about your baby. I sent him a message. He wants a photo of her soon-  
-Thanks Kyle.-  
-Shut up.-  
  



	2. Cigarette break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little reunion and a new start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to keep the first chapters short because then I can (sort of) edit and then publish them in a short period of time. Maybe some chapters will be longer, but it'll take more time for them to be ready. Honestly, I see fanfiction as the modern feuilleton, so I'm feeling a bit like a French writer from the early 1800, just writing a nice literary piece for the masses to read and enjoy. Also, I didn't do much research on custody laws, but I hope you didn't come here for legal advice.

> **CIGARETTE BREAK**

* * *

Kenny doesn’t know the first thing about law, all he is sure of is that in order to stay with his kid he needs to at least present himself as a respectable person. The first step was done: Kenny signed his new rent contract; he also signed a bunch of papers that Gerald gave him. Honestly, he just blindly put his name on papers for two days straight. Mr. Broflovski would often reassure him, telling him that every judge with some common sense would let him have sole custody, but Kenny couldn’t get rid of the crushing weight that pressed on his ribcage. Kyle just made small talk all day long, the times where he would share something about any of their friends were little and sparse. The only thing he found out was that Stan moved out to New York with his mom and was in college studying economics, Wendy went to Yale and Token too, and Clyde was working and studying at Colorado State University. Kenny had a flip-phone, one of those inexpensive and ugly ones that have gigantic numbers so that old people can see them better. He used it mostly for work purposes, the only numbers saved were the ones of his colleagues’ and his siblings’. He would rarely see Kevin and Karen, mostly because they moved to Denver after Kevin married a nice girl and got a nice job. He took Karen in, and for that Kenny would be forever grateful, but still, he would often dream of being able to see Karen every day and provide for her. He would send money once a month, not much, but enough so that hopefully, she could just study and not have to work. He hasn’t told them about Luna, he knew they would make him fly to Denver so they could live with them, he didn’t feel like giving them another burden in their life.   
-Maybe in a few months you’ll get to meet aunt Karen- Kenny was changing Luna’s diaper before going to court with Gerald, he was hoping she wouldn’t dirty the suit Kyle gave to him. -You too actually look alike, my little angel- Kenny loved talking to Luna, she made the cutest sounds in response, often laughing in a high-pitched tone.   
-Why is she screaming like that- Kyle stood outside the bathroom door, pinching his nose.  
-She’s laughing. Don’t listen to uncle Kyle my sweet baby, he’s a bastard- Luna squealed again amused.  
-Uncle Kyle?- Kyle’s eyes suddenly became bigger, Kenny laughed softly. He closed the diaper and held her up towards Kyle.  
-Yeah man, uncle Kyky- the red-headed hesitated before taking Luna in his arms. Luna was good with strangers, she would make herself comfortable in a matter of seconds after you held her.   
-Don’t go and start giving me stupid nicknames-  
Kenny heard Gerald calling him from downstairs. He felt as ready as he could be. All the way to the front door he made recommendations, told Sheila and Kyle everything they had to know about Luna. His hands were shaking, suddenly his brain processed what he was doing: it was the first time he would have to spend time away from Luna. She wasn’t crying, still, he couldn’t help but feel as if he were betraying her. Kyle was still awkwardly holding her, Kenny went up to him and start patting Luna’s head and held her little feet.  
-Daddy is coming back soon, my baby. I promise I won’t even stop for lunch, I’ll be back so soon, don’t you worry baby angel-  
-Oh give me a break, you look like a couple of dads right now-  
-Mom! Stop! Ew, gross, so gross! Here, hold her, God, that was gross- Kyle gave Luna to Sheila and walked towards the kitchen.  
-Daddy will be back for you too, my dear wife! And one last thing, please _do not_ kick the baby!- Kenny shouted.

Coming back from the court he was about to scream at the top of his lungs from the exhaustion. He didn’t understand anything the lawyers and judge were saying to each other, the only reassurance he had was that Gerald would look at him and give him a thumbs up occasionally. Luna’s mother never showed up, and that helped with Kenny’s case, of course, but still, he could taste some bitterness in his tongue as if the only thing she left was a bitter aftertaste.   
-You know kid, if I knew better I would have told the judge of your drug abuse-  
-Go ahead and do it, I’ve been clean since before Luna was born, they can test me all they want-  
-Alcohol?-  
-A few beers, never enough to get tipsy-  
-What addiction do you indulge in, then?-  
Kenny looked straight in front of him and read the familiar “Welcome to South Park” sign. His hands were shaking from the anticipation of seeing Luna again.  
-I smoke a cigarette when I have time, and when she’ll be older, I guess I’ll smoke some weed. My parent did meth in the living room, do you think I would make my child go through that?-  
Mr. Broflovski stayed silent and remained so until he parked the car outside of his home. Kenny reached the front door, and before even coming in he knew everyone was in a crisis. He could hear Luna scream and Kyle following her lead.   
-What’s all this mess about?-   
-Oh my God, Kenny thanks God you’re home. She was all cool until like, fifteen minutes ago. She’s been screaming nonstop and we don’t know what she wants! Butters even tried to make her burp!-  
Kenny took of his jacket and saw Butters sitting on the sofa with Luna in his arms. Her little face was all red and Butters looked as if he was about to cry too.  
-She must have a stomachache-  
-Oh Kenny, gosh, you think she’s in that much pain?- small tears were forming around Butters’ eyes.  
-Well, not that much. Well, there are only two men in this world that can calm her down: Freddie Mercury and Steven Tyler. Do you have a speaker?- Kenny reached for Luna and as soon as he held her, the poor baby stopped screaming and was now crying just a tiny bit loud.   
-No, but if you need some music I got my phone here-  
-Nice. Luna likes 80’s rock bands, preferably Aerosmith or Queen- Butters now smiled and reached for his phone.  
-Let’s see, would she like?-  
-Put on Angel from Aerosmith, it’s her favorite-  
Butters obliged, soon enough Luna stopped crying as Kenny made her wing and gave her belly rubs.   
-Man, she loves Steven Tyler- Kenny said as he watched her baby starting to fall asleep in his arms.  
-She’s so beautiful Kenny. Looks a lot like you-  
Kenny felt his ear get hotter. -You think? I don’t really see it-  
-Oh, does she look like her mom?-  
-No, not really. I mean, she does have reddish hair, but aside from that…- Kenny suddenly hoped that Luna would never turn out to look like her mom, it would probably crush his heart.   
-Right, anyway, how did it go?- Butters was scratching his nose -I mean, how did the custody battle go?-  
-Wasn’t much of a battle, more like me sitting and waiting for a bunch of dudes to tell me if I can keep my daughter or not-  
Kyle came back from the kitchen with two mugs of hot coffee.  
-I would offer you some champagne, but we can’t celebrate just yet. Did they tell you when and how often they would check on you and Luna?-  
-Told me every two weeks until they give me sole custody, then every three months or so- the next day he would start moving in his new apartment. He didn’t have much to move, but he knew it was probably going to be time and energy-consuming. All he wanted to do was to take a nap with Luna for the rest of the day.   
-We better keep the space clean, Kenny! Also, don’t you worry about things like plates and cups and stuff, I got us covered! My nanny passed away and I kept most of the stuff she had in her home. We have a full set of cups for tea! Luna is going to have the sweetest tea parties!- beautifully weird Butters, out of everything in his old life, Kenny missed him the most. No one could ever come close to give him the happiness and calmness he felt when he was with Leo. That’s why Kenny couldn’t accept him, he always felt like he didn’t deserve such nice things. Friends, opportunities, and a boy so good he made everything look like a fairy tale. No, he couldn’t afford to love Butters again, he would only bring him down.   
-Right, good job Butters on, um, keeping your dead grandma’s stuff- Kyle was raising an eyebrow.  
-I knew it could be useful!-  
-Yeah… anyway, I’ve been wanting to ask you, Kenny, where do you work?-  
-I work as a photographer, now I mostly edit photos from my colleagues, but usually, I’m the one taking them-  
-Do you photograph weddings or?-  
-Oh no man, that would be gross. I work with a company that produces porn videos and magazines. Even though videos are the most popular, it would shock just how much people pay to get some photographs-  
-Why am I no surprised?-   
-It’s a nice job, it pays well and I like it. It’s a serious company, our models are all well-paid. I met some decently famous porn stars man, they’re great-  
-So Luna’s mom was…-  
-Nope. I don’t … - Kenny covered Luna’s ears - … fuck with models. They’re doing their work when we have photoshoots and only an asshole would try and get it on with them-  
-So, did you go out with Luna’s mom?- Butters looked at Kenny like a beaten puppy. Before Kenny could answer, they heard someone knock at the door. Kyle went to answer as Kenny tries to make Luna fall asleep again.   
-Is he here?- Kenny would recognize that deep voice everywhere.  
-Tucker, you asshole-  
-Mccormick, nice seeing you, I was pretty sure you ended up dying alone in a Wendy’s parking lot by now-  
-Oh God! Kenny, is that a baby? So it was real, shit, I can’t believe it! Did you steal it or is it yours?-  
-Nice seeing you too, Tweek-

-You’re still together then. When will you break up? I’ve been pining after Craig’s great ass for years now-  
The boys were outside, Craig and Kenny smoking a cigarette, while Luna slept soundly on Kyle’s bed.  
-In your dreams, you slut-  
-You know I’m joking Tweek, I’ve always had a thing for blondes anyway. Having said that, Tweek, what are you doing tonight?-  
Kenny looked at his hand to check if his tattoo was still there because he felt sixteen all over again. Even smoking felt more like a crime than a normal thing he did.   
-So, Luna, um? Nice name- Craig took a deep breath in.  
-It means moon, right?- Butters reached for his pocket and took out a pack of cigarettes. Kenny reamed silent, watching as he took one out and asked Craig for a lighter.  
-Did you choose it?- Tweek made him come back to reality.   
Kenny nodded, the image of the doctors asking him what the kid’s name would be popped in his head, he just mumbled some apology for not having chosen one yet.  
-When she was in the hospital, Jane, Luna’s mother, would never open the curtains during the day, so the only light Luna saw were either the piercing led lights of the hospital room, or the moon at night. So yeah, Luna-  
-You’d think this story came out of a movie or something. How’s her mother doing?-  
-She’s in jail. Long story short, she was an asshole and killed a girl while high on every existing drug. Can’t blame her, she didn’t want to be a mother, and I don’t think she is, even if she gave birth-  
Everyone looked at Kenny with wide eyes.  
-Well, at least she’s got you- Tweek gestured Craig to pass him the cigarette he was holding and took a drag from it. Kenny felt as if there was something wrong with seeing the two blondes smoke. He was used to hanging out with Craig during break, hide away from the teacher and smoke for a bit. Sometimes Butters and Tweek would join them but had never smoked with them. He knew that time changes things, but every time he imagined returning to South Park he saw a postcard frozen in time, a broken space in time where he could go back and be a kid again, where his friends lived a happy and carefree life. Perhaps that place had never been real from the very beginning.  
  


Kenny was beyond exhausted. Craig and Tweek had left soon after they went back inside from the cigarette break, but Butters didn’t look like he’d be leaving soon.   
-Ehy dude, Luna woke up, she’s not crying tho- Kyle gestured for him to follow him upstairs, Kenny followed without hesitation.   
-Dude, she’s still asleep-  
-I know, I just wanted to be alone with you for a moment-  
-Okay, I know I’ve been joking a lot lately, but I do not want to be your daddy Kyle; you missed your chance that one time at Clyde’s-  
-Oh my God, shut up. It’s already painful to play family with you. No, really, I wanted to tell you something, but you have to keep it a secret, okay?-  
-Spill it-  
-Stan is coming back-  
-Shit-  
-Yeah, I know. He hasn’t been back in a long time, almost a year. He wants to see you.-  
-I’m happy about that, really-  
-I just, I, I need to ask you to do something, for me,- Kyle took a long breath in, whites of his eyes starting to get redder and redder. -just please, don’t leave me this time-  
Kenny hugged his friend and couldn’t tell if it was his heart beating that fast, or Kyle’s one jumping out of his ribcage.   
-Hey there fellas.- Butters came into to room -It’s time for me to go, so I just came in to tell Kenny that tomorrow I’ll start moving thing in the apartment at around ten in the morning. Don’t forget your keys-  
-Wait, Leo,- Kenny reached out for the blond man -you want to smoke one while I walk you home? Luna is asleep again-

The air was cold but not as cold as one would expect a late December evening in South Park Colorado would be. Kenny was still wearing the white shirt and pants from the suit, but on top of them he had put on his signature orange parka, one he bought three years before, a few months prior to leaving South Park.   
-Since when do you smoke?- Kenny looked at Butters hair, now long enough to e put in a little bun. He made a mental note to make him wear it at least once.   
-Not much, I guess I started without even noticing it-  
-They’re the same brand I used to smoke in high school- Butters’ ears and cheeks became adorably red.   
-The smell reminds me of you- now it was Kenny’s turn to be embarrassed. -Look, we’re adults now, I don’t think it would be very mature for us to play this game of pretending nothing happened- was that really Butters talking? Kenny knew Butters could be painfully honest but seeing him be so bold shocked him.  
-Leo, I’m not pretending…-  
-Shush, I must tell you this. I loved you, Kenny. I really did. I spent nights after nights awake, wondering if for you it was all about good sex and a good friendship, and- -It wasn’t just about that- -I said shut up! I know it wasn’t. But you left me. You left me here before I could even ask you to be my boyfriend. You disappeared Kenny. The worst part is that I was never, not even for a second, mad at you. Because I knew you were in pain, and honestly if I had the guts to do it, I would have run away too. So, I don’t have any hard feelings. That’s why I decide to ask you to be my roommate. I don’t know if I love you anymore, but I know I care deeply for you. Don’t you dare break my heart. Luna already loves me, so if you cut me out of her life she’s gonna be awful mad!-  
Kenny felt his finger burn from the cigarette having reached the filter. The words he wanted to say were stuck in his throat, unable to come to the surface.   
-Well, we don’t want Luna to get mad, don’t we?-

Kenny slept like an angel for all of the two hours of peaceful, well-deserved-, sleep that Luna provided. He was up at around eight. Sheila offered to give Luna her breakfast while Kenny started packing his things. He didn’t have much, just a backpack with some of his clothes, mostly underwear, really. He gave away almost everything when he got out of his old apartment. He hardly ever went shopping, and never really needed any other clothes besides his usual worn-out jeans and some hoodies. The most valuable things he owned were his laptop and his camera. The camera was a gift from the friend that got him the job as a photographer, but all the other lenses he bought himself. The laptop too, it wasn’t a new generation, all-powerful, one, but it was nice enough to be able to edit his pictures. He needed a box to put all of Luna’s new clothes in. Sheila’s mom kept giving him old clothes, in fact, she actually got every mom in South Park to give him some as well. The best pieces were from the Tuckers, he couldn’t wait to put all those puffy dresses on Luna and take cute pictures. Token’s parents gave him a stroller and a little baby cot, he wondered whether they were new or second-hand. Either way, he wasn’t going to complain, he was happy to accept all the help anyone could get. In less than an hour, Kenny was out the door, waiting for Kyle to get in the car and drive him to his new home.

He didn’t expect the buildings to be so short, but they were long. Kenny and Butters’ apartment was on the last floor, Kenny was happy to find out they had a nice elevator so he wouldn’t have to carry the stroller all the way up and down every time he went out. No one seemed to be living there yet, it felt a lot like a ghost town.  
-Thank God Cartman bought them and didn’t make the plans for building them, otherwise I’d be really scared to get into this elevator- Kyle was carrying boxes from the car to the building while Kenny was holding his backpacks, bags, and Luna.   
When they reached the front door of apartment 1b, Kenny felt the blood pump in his hands and a sudden wave of adrenaline made him feel more awake than ever before. He opened the door. The first thing you could see inside was a big yellow sofa, and a dining table with four chairs. There were some cupboards on the wall and a few empty shelves. A big window let in so much sunshine Kenny was almost blinded. He took the first step and suddenly felt as if he just walked on a cloud. At his right, there was a small kitchen place with a stove, an oven, a fridge, and a washing machine. Two doors were on the right side and one on the other. It wasn’t big, but it felt like a normal home, whatever that meant. His old apartment reeked of poverty, the walls were moldy, and there was hardly enough space to be able to cook a decent meal. In here though, he could see himself waking up every morning to prepare Luna the best breakfast he could think of.   
-This is actually nice. For a moment I was scared the place was gonna suck. This is the last box. My mom prepared for you some bed sheets and other stuff you might need. Now I have to go, but I’ll be back tonight to check on Luna, okay?-  
-I thought you didn’t care for babies-  
-I don’t, they’re little dirty nuisances. But I’m team Luna all the way, she’s got some mad charisma-  
-You heard that, baby? Uncle Kyle said he likes you-  
-You call me Uncle Kyle one more time and I might actually want to adopt her-

Kenny and Luna were alone. He set her up on the stroller and gave her a few toys as he unpacked everything. He and Butters had already decided Kenny would get the room on the right, the one nearer the bathroom. It had a double bed and a big closet. He would need a desk where he could work, but things like that could wait. Just like packing, unpacking everything didn’t take him long.  
-See Luna, daddy is quick and neat- she made some cut noise in response.  
-Damn right, we need to hang some stuff on these walls. Luna, you’re such a good interior designer, what do you suggest?- she mumbled again.  
-Mh, I’m not sure a gigantic poster of Steven Tyler would be a good choice, but I’ll keep that in mind. Now, have you or have you not pooped your pants, angel?- He held her up and from the smell and Luna’s content smile, he already knew the answer to his question.

As he finished changing her, the front door opened and Butters came in, sweaty and out of breath from carrying heavy boxes.   
-It’s even better than the photos!- he exclaimed -Hi Kenny! Hi miss Luna! This is our first day as roommates! I call dibs on first shower!-  
Just like that, a new chapter started for Kenny, and he hoped it was going to be the best one yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I touch on some pretty heavy stuff, oof.   
> I'm sorry, I just miss writing sad and hardcore scenarios.   
> Also, I just need to let you know that I finished writing this whole thing as my cat was purring and cuddling with me on my lap. It is really important to me that you know this.   
> See you next chapter.


	3. Blue Neighbourhood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A walk down memory lane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for underage drinking (I didn't realize the USA legal age for drinking alcohol was 21 and they're supposed to be 20, sorry guys. I wanted to keep in the wine for reasons), no one gets drunk.

> **BLUE NEIGHBOURHOOD**

* * *

Mornings were difficult. They always had been. Whether it was because of some weird death the day before, or just a night spent trying to remedy years of bad things happening. It never bothered him that much. Kenny could take it all, put on a hoodie and just go to school. But still, there’s a very specific headache that insomnia leaves behind, it makes it hard to focus your eyes, hard to breathe, every movement is painful. But you get through. It’s what people do. Every morning for the past three years, Kenny was reminded of every reason why the best superpower would be not ever needing to sleep, and the worst one was being an immortal with bad luck and a death wish.

Lately, he hasn’t had the time, though. Luna was crying on her little bed, so Kenny got up, checked for any diaper emergencies, and then picked her up.

In the kitchen there was Leo, all dressed up and ready to go to work.  
-Well, good morning mister! And good morning to you too, your Highness- Luna responded by crying just a bit louder. -I figured she would be hungry, I already prepared her breakfast. And to you too! The coffee is all set, and I remember you liking scrambled eggs in the morning!-  
Leo had been way too kind ever since he stepped foot in the new apartment. He was the one that went and spent way too much on the first shopping trip for the house, accepting only half of the money Kenny owned him and paying for take-out both for lunch and dinner. Kenny didn’t know what was going on through the other blond man’s head, but morning wasn’t the time for conspiracy theories and scrambled eggs are best eaten hot.

-You’re not eating?- Kenny asked while bottle-feeding Luna.   
-I already ate, I need to get to school before the day starts-  
-School?-  
-I work as a janitor in the old elementary school. I won’t be home for lunch, Monday is a full day-  
-No it’s okay, I can manage a meal alone- maybe the old Chinese restaurant finally updated, and he would be able to order something from them.  
-Well, okay, see you later then. See you in no time, princess- Luna casually gave Butters a side glance, which made Kenny chuckle. She really seemed to like the way he was treating her like royalty, perhaps Kenny could accept a little help as well.

The morning was quiet, Kenny was waiting for his boss to send him some pictures from a new photoshoot, but he only received an email that said that the photos would arrive later in the evening.

He was bored out of his mind. Luna was awfully quiet playing with some of the toys Mrs. Broflovski gave her. She was starting to mumble a lot more and would do so for many hours a day. Sometimes he tried to engage in a conversation with her, but at that moment she seemed to be more interested in her toy-tiger rather than her dad. He looked out of the big window in the living room; he could see the exact point where his old house was. It had been demolished long ago, the last years of high school were predominantly spent moving from house to house, his family lived in a basement for a while. Kenny could see it in Karen’s eyes how much it hurt her, but he felt hopeless and useless. Mysterion was not an option anymore, he would still spend half of his pay buying cool things for Karen, but he ached to do a lot more. He wanted to give her a house, fuck, he dreamed he could build her a castle on top of a hill, far away from any problem, a place where she could lie in bed all day, be fed the finest snacks the world had to offer, but it only ever stayed a dream. He almost got mad when Kevin moved to Denver. Kenny never really trusted Kevin, he used to drink almost as much like his father, but he got somewhat clean, started working in a shop and had a few promotions, met a nice girl that gave Karen clothes, so Kenny started tolerating his brother. He got a big promotion, was transferred to a big shop in Denver and decided to go live there with his new girl and Karen as well. Karen was hesitant, she yelled for days, saying that she would never want to leave South Park or her brother, but Kenny knew that she deserved better, and that better was living in a nice apartment and going to a nice high school in Denver. Still, he was mad, because he wanted to be the one to build her a mansion but figured out that his dream was far from being realistic. So he said goodbye to her a year before he left South Park, at first he called her every day, made sure she was safe and happy. After a year he didn’t worry much anymore. Karen was having a good time: she made some friends her age, bought a guitar, and even had all A’s in her grades. Kenny never told her about the first months of being homeless, nor about every dangerous situation he got in. But Karen would, still text him every day, send him pictures of the most random things, telling him how much she missed him; no matter how much Kenny wanted to disappear, he could never bring himself to delete his sister’s number as he did with everyone else.

As he was reminiscing, Luna started mumbling just a bit louder, enough to make her dad acknowledge her.  
-Ehi baby,- Kenny held her up in his arms, Luna put her hands around her dad’s face almost immediately, squishing his cheeks -I think it’s time aunt Karen got to meet you-

Kenny felt stupid while waiting on his phone for Karen to answer. It was a Monday morning, she was most certainly at school, still, he waited, maybe he could leave her a message.   
-Hello? Kenny?- Karen answered.  
-Hi Karen. You’re not at school?-  
-Yeah, but I’m in the bathroom. My English teacher loves me, she lets me do whatever I want as long as I get good grades-  
-Good. Listen, I- I have to tell you something,- Kenny paused for a little - I’m back in South Park. Got an apartment-   
-That’s great Kenny! Oh my God, this is great news! Can I come for Christmas break?-  
-You can come whenever you want-  
-Then today! No wait, today I have band practice. Tomorrow! I’ll spend the whole day there We can go sliding! I haven’t seen you in three years, Kenny, I miss you so much-   
-There’s someone you should meet before-  
-A new partner? How are they?-  
-No, not a partner this time. Someone more important.- Kenny couldn’t bring himself to tell her about Luna. He feared something he wasn’t even sure what it was. -She’s great, I think she will adore you. I mean, she already does since I told her all about you-  
-Did you get married?-  
-Oh God, no, please, fuck no-  
-Spit it out, man-  
-I have a daughter. She’s three months old and her name is Luna. I’m almost sure I’ll get her full custody, her mom is not around, she’s beautiful and her eyes look more like yours than mines-  
-Say sike right now-  
Luna got a hold of the phone and started mumbling.   
-Tell me that’s you making weird noises-  
-Luna says hi-  
-Holy shit-  
-I know-  
-I, I think I need a minute. You’re telling me I’m an aunt-  
-Yes-  
-And you kept this information from me exactly how long?-  
-I didn’t know her mother was pregnant. Twee weeks before Luna was born her grandma told me.-  
-Apologize right now. I don’t even have nice clothes to cosplay a white, rich, cool, and hot auntie. Kenny, you should have told me sooner! I’m sure Kevin could have made some space for you and her back at home-  
-I have an income, I’m an adult, and…-  
-You’re not old enough to drink alcohol legally-  
-I couldn’t just, just leave her alone-  
-I know. Ehi Kenny, listen, I gotta go now, but I’ll be there in no time, okay? I’ll catch the first train. Can I bring Kevin?-  
-No, don’t come today, don’t…-  
-Okay, you better call Kevin and tell him what’s up, I’m coming there today whether you want to or not. Bye guardian angel, tell your baby aunt Karen is coming-

Somehow, Kenny started to regret telling Karen. He never intended on keeping it a secret forever, but the situation was far from being stable and he didn’t know whether he wanted to protect Luna or himself.

Lunch was Chinese take-out, the old owner of the restaurant recognized Kenny as soon as he walked in and that made him strangely feel at ease. Luna seemed to be amused by the man speaking to her in Chinese, the bright sun outside made walking around pleasurable, suddenly everything felt peaceful; so after he finished eating, then fed Luna, he thought another nice walk around would be a great idea.

The houses felt different from his childhood, but not that much distant from what he remembered South Park being three years prior. At first, happy memories played themselves across the streets like holograms from a past long lost, but step by step, they started to look gorier. Every corner Kenny could recognize being a place where his blood once was splattered on the floor. Though the imagery was surely sad, Kenny was used to it. It comforted him in a way, at least he didn’t have to think about new deaths in places unknown, he didn’t want to imagine what would happen if he died and Luna was left all alone. He started recognizing the neighbourhood, he stopped in front of what used to be Stan’s house. He could see a smile bicycle outside, a sign that a new family now lived there. It didn’t sit right in Kenny’s mind, he wished he could knock on the door and tell everyone to fuck off, get out of his friend’s house; but that wouldn’t be right. Instead, he kept on walking. Luna was asleep, completely comfortable in her stroller, wrapped around two blankets and wearing a cute hat, Kenny felt warm too, even though his mind was spiraling in some dark places. He saw familiar faces, but never stopped to say hello to any of them, his heart beating much faster at the thought of any of them pitying him and his child. He started walking towards his apartment but instead found himself in the driveway of Butter’s home. From the windows, he could see movements. He got closer and recognized Mr. Stotch’s figure. He used to fantasize about going crazy and finally butchering that bastard, making him apologize for every injury, suffering, and trauma he made Butters go through. Kenny never hated his dad, he just felt nothing about him at all, but he resented Butter’s dad with every inch of his being. Maybe Luna could feel her dad’s hands shaking, or she was just angry at the fact that they were standing still, but she started crying loudly out of nowhere. Kenny turned around as fast as he could and went back on the street, not looking back when Mr. Stotch called his name from the front door.

Lying on top of blankets on the ground, Kenny was playing with Luna as he heard the front door open. Butters came inside, visibly tired and with his hair let down.   
-Hi fellas. How was your day?- Butters started to take off his coat.   
-We had fun, went on a little walk, miss Luna apparently likes to meet new people- Kenny didn’t want to mention his almost-panic-attack when he saw the other boy’s dad.  
-She’s a friendly gal! Oh well, I better get in the shower fast! Those damn kids made me run all day! No offense to your kind, Luna-  
-Has Cartman told you how to operate the shower?-  
-Yeah, the first time I went to visit this place. I don’t need assistance showering.- Butters paused then suddenly became a hot shade of pink -I’m not hinting at anything! I mean, I don’t want you in the shower with me. No, that came out wrong, I still think you’re good looking and all, what I mean is that I’d rather do it alone. No, wait, that’s wrong too!- Kenny let out a laugh, mostly to hide his own embarrassment. I’d give everything to go back in time and keep Butters in his arms, but that was yet another thing he fucked up. When Butters came out of his room with a new change of clothing, ready to get in the shower, someone knocked at their door. Kenny remembered what Karen told him and rushed to open the door. Right in front of him stood Karen, her hair dyed black with streaks of purple, wearing a long black coat, and some heavy black eyeliner. “Badass” was his first thought. But she wasn’t alone. Standing around her, Kyle, Craig, Tweek, and Wendy were holding all sorts of bags and presents.   
-We came here to celebrate your new apartment since none of you bastards invited any of us to dinner. More people will come later, we’ll start cooking- Kyle was taking his hat and gloves off.  
-Yeah, Karen told Tricia she was coming back, so Tricia told Craig, then Craig proceeded on being the gossipy bitch he is, and told everyone to throw a party for Karen- Craig lightly punched Wendy on their shoulders. Kenny smiled at his friends, then fixed his eyes back on his sister. Karen was on the verge of crying, but instead, she hugged Kenny so hard he felt his spine crack. That hug felt like a medicine Kenny needed to stay alive, a warm drink going down his throat just a second before he froze to death.   
-I can’t believe it took me so long to visit you-  
-I didn’t want you to see me before-  
-You cunt, I would’ve wanted to see you even if you suddenly became a brain-eating-zombie. Where is she?- Kenny got out of the hug and walked towards Luna, smiling at her before picking her up. He turned towards his sister, who now was inside the house and closed the door behind her.   
-Luna this is aunt Karen, Karen, this is your niece, Luna Karen Mccormick-  
-Shut up. You didn’t.-  
-Check her birth certificate-  
-You are such a corny little shit-- sorry, shit, oh fuck, no, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t swear!-  
-She’s Kenny’s kid, she’ll probably say “fuck” for her first word- Craig was already holding a cup full of what looked like wine.   
-Wine?-   
-What, we’re adults now, we’re enjoying a nice glass of wine before a fine dinner-  
-You’re not an adult Craig,- Tweek marched in with a bottle of beer in his hands -Kenny has a child, you have a guinea pig, between the two of you I think Kenny should be the one holding a cup of wine-  
-That’s right Tweek, I am husband material. You should leave this fool and get a piece of this dad bod-  
-That’s my clue to get the fuck out of this conversation and get to know my niece.- Karen expertly took Luna in her arms -Don’t worry, I have babysat a few of this motherfluffers-

Kenny was enjoying seeing his friends occupied in the small kitchen of his apartment, but he just couldn’t leave Karen and Luna’s sides. They were having fun together, looking at her sister playing with stuffed animals, her eyes sparkling with joy, made Kenny’s heart skip a beat. He got up and started searching for his camera, when he found it, he was quick to take it out and take shots of Karen and Luna.  
-That’s a nice camera- Butters suddenly appeared near his side, his hair still wet from the quick shower he just took.   
-I bought it second-hand when I started working. It’s my first baby.-  
-I bet you’re a good photographer-  
-I’m not that great. But it took me no time to learn to edit, so I do both at my job. I also read books about photography-   
-I studied a bit of photography too! Mostly the history, but still-  
-You did?-  
-Went to art school for a semester. Obviously, that didn’t work out. Still, I learned some pretty cool stuff! Man, those photographers sure were out of their mind!- Kenny’s eyes watched as Butter’s smile became increasingly wider as he talked about some photos he had seen. A thought passed through his mind, it came in quick and rested on his brain: “I wish he would talk like this about my pictures”. Kenny tried to shake it away, his job was about taking shots of naked people and making them look good, a mechanical operation almost; it’s not as if photography had been a dream of his, Kenny had this idea in his head that he could never become anything near an artist. Still, it would be nice if Butters gave same the same smile to some of his photos.   
-Do you know Robert Mapplethorpe’s work?- Butters looked in Kenny’s eyes, still smiling wide.  
-I heard of him. Photographed some singers, right?-  
-Oh man, it’s so much more than that! This fella changed the game for queer people! I mean, I’ve seen some pretty crude photos, like this one where this man is holding a knife on top of a penis! Geez, could feel the pain on me! Still, every picture was so full of grace and dignity. Like, it makes one feel okay about the fact that they have a different kind of sexuality, you know?-   
Kenny stood silent, making a mental note to check this artist out. Maybe he could show some of his work to Butters, just the thought of proudly displaying his photographs made his fingertips tingle.

Dinner was ready, served in nice paper dishes, some people ate with actual cutlery, others with forks made out of paper, Craig straight-up eating pasta with his bare hands. Luna loved the attention and the sounds around her. She mostly stayed in Kenny’s arms, happily making sounds and laughing. After everyone cleared their plate, Luna was about ready to fall asleep at any given moment. Kenny stood up and told everyone he was going to change her in her pajamas and put her to sleep. He got up and got everything he needed from his room before going into the bathroom. Near the sink there was a small counter Kenny adapted to be a changing place.   
-You were so good tonight my angel, I bet it wasn’t an easy day for you- Kenny loved talking to his daughter and she never complained. Karen had already changed Luna’s diaper some time ago, but Kenny decided it was never a bad idea to get her in a fresh diaper before going to sleep. -You have to promise me you won’t dirty this one for a few hours, your dad is pretty tired too-   
-If you’re tired I can tell the others to go out- Butters was standing next to the bathroom door and closed it behind him.   
-No, it’s okay. As long as we don’t make loud noises she should be fine. She’s a heavy sleeper-   
-What a golden kid-   
-For real. Sometimes I think she acts this good to make it easier for me. I mean, the first month was just pure hell, but you get used to the lack of sleep- Calling the first month hell would be a euphemism. If it wasn’t for some of his colleagues helping him, Kenny was sure he would have lost his mind.   
-Must’ve been hard for you-  
-You don’t know hard until you suddenly become responsible for another human being’s life. I stayed up all night, if she didn’t wake up every few hours I would check if she was still breathing. I think I had so much fear and self-doubt that Luna decided she was going to behave for the rest of her life. Sorry, I shouldn’t vent like this.-  
-You can do it anytime you want! If you ever feel like sleeping a bit just hand her to me, I swear I would give my life and more for this kid-  
-Everyone accepted her so quickly.-  
-It’s not like there were other choices. You know, even if you came back empty-handed we would still have taken you back-  
-No, you wouldn’t have-  
- _I_ would. I can’t speak for the other, but do you think Kyle would’ve left you on the streets? We were never mad at you, we were angry because none of us had the balls to leave this fucked town as you did.-  
-Still, I left everyone alone-  
- _We_ were the ones that left you all alone, we never did anything to help you. _I_ never did enough-  
-What are you talking about? I think it’s…-  
-No, you were the one going around fixing everyone’s shit up, trying to make everyone feel better about the shit they where going through. We were all teenagers, still, it felt like you had your head on your shoulders. That’s why I think you’re going to be a good dad. You became one when Karen was born, since then you’ve been taking care of others.-  
If it wasn’t for the fact that he was too tired to take everything in, Kenny could’ve started crying. Luna was now all ready to go to bed, so he took her in his arms, rested her head on his shoulder, and walked out of the room, Butters following him for a bit.

Luna fell asleep almost immediately, not even needing a good-night story from her dad. Kenny put the old baby monitor he was given on the bedside table and brought the other half with him when he went back into the living room. Everyone was silent, looking at Kenny with wide eyes.  
-It’s okay guys, she won’t wake up if we just talk. Relax.-  
-Good, because Eric, Tricia, and Bebe are coming in a few minutes- Wendy checked her phone, most likely waiting for a text from one of them.   
-Right on time! Tweek told me he and Craig have a big announcement to make!- Karen took a bite out of the cake Kyle brought from home.   
-Don’t tell me you’re getting married- Butters’s eyes got big and sparkly.   
-Holy shit, no. Could you imagine?- Tweek twitched his nose and shook his head.  
-Craig has finally decided to give up and bottom for once- Kenny tried his best to keep a straight face as he said that.   
-What makes you think he hasn’t bottomed before?- Tweek high-fived Karen and looked proud as a few “ooh” backed up his remark.   
-Don’t worry honey, it’s not like I’m right here and I can hear you talking about me-   
Tweek smiled at his boyfriend, slightly leaning his head on his shoulder. The days where they would fight and break up seemed distant and far away.   
-It’s probably some lame shit like “We’re going to move in together and live happily ever after while the rest of you remain single and miserable”.-  
-I’m pretty sure you’re the only miserable one here, Kyle. I, for once, am really happy about being single right now- Wendy took a sip from the bottle of beer she had in her hands.   
-I wonder what Stan is doing- as Karen said that, the room fell dark and silent. Everyone stiffened up. -Oh, I’m sorry, I just thought about him because I remember that time Stan and Wendy showed up in matching suits at prom. You both looked so hot it was confusing the shit out of everyone.-   
-Yeah, I remember Stan insisting on getting those awful shiny shoes, I thought they were so cool, but hey sucked ass- as Wendy smiled softly at the memory, the energy in the room shifted. Now everyone was talking about how little taste Stan had for anything, how funny it was to look at him unironically having a playlist that mixed together metal, pop, and country music, or that time he ran through the hallways just to get to Eric’s class and flip him off during the lesson.   
-I miss him so much- Wendy looked down at her own hands. It felt like everyone was still grieving, even though Stan was alive.   
-He’s coming to South Park.- Kyle cleared his throat -I texted him to tell him about Luna and said he will be here after his classes are over, so pretty soon.-  
-Are you kidding me right now? Stan’s coming back? Last time he did he didn’t even stay for three days, he didn’t even say hi to anyone!- Craig, of all people, looked the more hooked it, mostly because of the wine, but Kenny knew he shared a lot in common with Stan, more than he would be comfortable admitting.   
-He’s going to stay at my place for a while, you know, Randy’s not here anymore. So, yeah, I don0t for how long, but I think Luna can convince him to stay a bit longer than he plans to.-  
-Kyle really loves that kid, to think you pinch your nose when walking near any other child-  
-What can I say, I look at her toothless smile and all I can see is the face of my old childhood friend- Kenny looked at Kyle, feeling yet again on the verge of crying.

When the other three came in, the small party went on for just a while longer. Bebe and Tricia were immediately escorted to the bedroom by Karen, who wanted to show them just how “cute and chubby Luna is! You won’t believe just how great she is!”. Kenny was having fun, mostly because Craig was tipsy and acting funny. But when it was time to say hello to everyone, Kenny wasn’t complaining. Karen went home with the Tuckers, assuring Kenny she would be back in the morning. After everyone left, Kenny Butters were alone in what felt like a suddenly big living room.   
-I can clean this up, you go to bed- Butters started collecting the paper cups from around the table.  
-No, it’s okay, I’ll help out-  
-No sir, I want you to go to sleep, it’s past your curfew!-  
-You’re giving me a curfew now?-  
-You bet! The bags under your eyes don’t add anything to your good looks, mister!-  
-I thought they added to the fact that I’m developing a dad tummy right now-  
-Dad bodies are hot.- Butters paused for a bit. Kenny could feel the blood rush to his ears. -I keep saying misleading stuff. I should just shut up-  
-No, I like it. It’s nice to know you still have no filter- Kenny took the dishes from the table and handed them to Butters.   
-Okay, that’s enough, go to bed!-  
-You have a small balcony in your bedroom, right? Do you want to smoke a cigarette with me?-  
Butters nodded and searched for his cigarettes in his pockets. After finding them, they both headed for Butters’ room, Kenny holding tightly to the baby monitor. When they got outside, the cold and stinging hair brought Kenny back.   
-It’s so cold I’m starting to forget how it feels to be hot in summer- Butter lightened his cigarette and passed the lighter to Kenny.  
-It feels nice, tho. Feels like I’m back at home again-  
-You are at home, silly.-   
Kenny didn’t expect those words. They shoot his heart and the tears on his cheeks felt more like blood coming out from the hole in his chest.  
-Oh, geez, I’m sorry Kenny! Did I say something wrong?-  
-I missed you so much, Leo. Every day I wanted to punish myself for making you suffer so much. I’m so sorry, I missed you Buttercup, every day-   
Butters hugged Kenny, careful not to burn him with his cigarette. Kenny wasn’t really crying, it was more like a dam broke in his eyes and water started to come out. They didn’t exchange any other words after that, just smoked quietly, still holding on to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO, this was a longer chapter. In the next few days, I'll probably edit everything, fix the grammar, and all of that. There won't be major changes, but I thought I should tell everyone that I'll make this fic easier to read and I would appreciate some feedback.  
> It's been so nice to see people leaving kudos, bookmarks, and comments! I really appreciated it, mostly because I know this is not the best fic in any way, but it feels nice to just write something for fun and having people interested in it!   
> Now I kinda feel like finding someone to proofread everything like in the good old days!

**Author's Note:**

> So, I know this is not an excuse for writing such a short and meaningless chapter, but I just finished a hard exam for my uni, on the same day my mother tested positive for covid and I am currently in quarantine. I have too much time in my hands as I left my books for other courses in the city I go to uni at, so I indulge in some guilty pleasures such as South Park and writing shitty stories.  
> I'll upload irregularly, but the second chapter is already in-writing so rest assured, you will hear from me again soon. This is a threat.


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